Tainted Route: a parody

I’d forgotten I’d written this until I rediscovered it the other day: lyrics for the Internet technical crowd to be sung the tune of Tainted Love. Enjoy!

Tainted Route

Sometimes my CIDR prefix
is preloved, my prefix
is misused
My packets don’t get through to the Internet
The routes we share
Seem to go nowhere
And I’ve lost my fight
To prove the block is mine to route by right

(chorus)
Once I peered with you (I peered)
Now I’ll blacklist you
This tainted route you’ve given
I give you all a geek could give you
Take my 1/8 (“one slash eight”) and that’s not nearly all
Oh…tainted route
Tainted route

Now I know I’ve got to
blacklist I’ve got to
blackhole you
You don’t really want IP any more from me
To make things work
You need someone to tell you, jerk
There are things called RFCs
And you surely need to read all these!

(chorus…)

Don’t route me please
The Internet, you’re killing, Jeez!
I want you though all packets drop
Next thing you’ll make the whole Net stop!
Tainted route, tainted route (x2)
Remove me baby, tainted route (x2)
Tainted route (x3)